Change
Sometimes I like to wonder what the purpose of my life is? I mean, assuming that everyone of us is sent down into this world for some sort of reason - to accomplish something in particular, perhaps, or to stop others from accomplishing something maybe! So, if I want to treat the whole concept purely logically, how am I supposed to place myself?? I ponder...I consider...at times, I even wish...but I have yet to uncover an answer...sometimes I think I was created merely as an ever-lasting reserve of comic relief, just to entertain those around me. But then I realise that even that is a pretty pompous assumption, and before I can come up with a more realistic reasoning of the dire situation I usually find myself enticed by some other equally useless philosophy of my life and that's the end of the 'i have a reason in life' debate!
Surprisingly, today I actually have a somewhat 'real' issue to mull over, if I may take the liberty of considering myself as a topic worthy enough for me to think about...
Actually it's a long story, and probably even more futile-sounding for those poor souls who accidentally lost their path and landed at my blog, so I won't delve into any details. Basically it was someone's curious reaction and expression to seeing me pass them by at university today that caught my attention. Someone who's an old friend's brother, which means that he's been seeing me for years...somehow the message in his fleeting glance was clear; it brought home to me that to an outside observer who's seen me many times before, I have changed. I don't know what about me has changed according to those who think I have, and I'm not even sure if it's true...but, despite not even knowing the authenticity of this opinion, it still saddens me inexplicably...the feeling is unbelievably haunting...confusing, worrying, diconcerting and even hurting....
Have I really changed so much in so little time??!...Or am I merely drowning myself in the search for answers to questions too vague to be conceived...or am I simply being stupid by choosing to think?
How I wish I knew...
Surprisingly, today I actually have a somewhat 'real' issue to mull over, if I may take the liberty of considering myself as a topic worthy enough for me to think about...
Actually it's a long story, and probably even more futile-sounding for those poor souls who accidentally lost their path and landed at my blog, so I won't delve into any details. Basically it was someone's curious reaction and expression to seeing me pass them by at university today that caught my attention. Someone who's an old friend's brother, which means that he's been seeing me for years...somehow the message in his fleeting glance was clear; it brought home to me that to an outside observer who's seen me many times before, I have changed. I don't know what about me has changed according to those who think I have, and I'm not even sure if it's true...but, despite not even knowing the authenticity of this opinion, it still saddens me inexplicably...the feeling is unbelievably haunting...confusing, worrying, diconcerting and even hurting....
Have I really changed so much in so little time??!...Or am I merely drowning myself in the search for answers to questions too vague to be conceived...or am I simply being stupid by choosing to think?
How I wish I knew...
posted by deranged_lunatic at 8:21 PM
3 Comments:
hmmm...dont we all wish we knew..
somehow i really dont think anyone has tht sole purpose in life...
As we evolve the purpose evolves..
(if we have any)
ppl like me...we're walking around lke blind idiots bumping into things constantly but sitll wlaking..
dont worry the cheeese cake wasnt all that...
I have pondered and travelled...there are NO reasons we are merely the products of Someones egostic competetion with another...
we are not sent, we arrive! so no one else sets a purpose for us.
but don't let this purposelessness get you down or make everything seem meaningless. you are here, so give your being a meaning, set your life a purpose!
one good purpose would be to leave the world, in some small way, a better place than you found it. another could be to at least not leave it any worse (which is not as easy as it sounds).
Post a Comment
<< Home