Take it away...please! Just take it all away..

Someone, somehow...please just make it all go away!! I go down on my knees in desperation...begging, pleading, crying. I scream, I yell, I shout...for someone. Anyone. No one comes. No one can hear me. Or maybe they can. Still, no one comes. No one at all. Is it a sign? Is it some sort of an indication?...I don't know. I can't think straight, no matter how hard I try. Nothing makes sense any more. I'm trapped within this whirlwind of emotions...each more morbid than the last one. Each leaving me more drained and in so much more pitiful, meaningless, wretched sorrow and despair than the last one. I just want it all to end! But I can't make it.

I know I've tried...determinedly at first, and now half-heartedly. Is it time to give up? 'Give up on what?' a voice in my mind questions from far away...I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore. Am I really a failure? Already? But I had so much to live for. Had...not have. The present already seems to be a part of the past. My past. It was once mine, I tell them. But they no longer believe me. It was once mine, I plead again. But in vain. They say that I have nothing left to live for. I fall silent, for there is nothing I can say to that. Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. For I know they are right.

What is happening to me? I don't know. I'm searching for answers to questions unasked; I already know it is a futile quest. It will end in even more misery. Is that even possible? I don't know. Will it end? Will I ever be able to overcome it...will I ever be able to put an end to it? Or will it end me first? I don't know. But maybe I don't care either. Not anymore. Right now, right here...nothing matters anymore.

This is it. This is how it will end. With me writhing and screaming in pain... surrounded by people. No one will even turn to look. No one will come close to hold me. No one will shed a tear at the pitiful sight. No one will even ask what is wrong...for no one wants to know. No one will listen. Is it really time to give up on it all? Already? So soon?

I really don't know!

Or is it all a mere figment of my over-active imagination? Is this, in fact, what they call 'reality'? Perhaps. Am I the one who was been a fool all along? Am I just too darn weak to face it all? Is this my destiny? Is it all my own fault...my own doing? No one is ready to answer that even...

What happens next? I wish I knew...oh how I wish I just knew...!!!